margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
