I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
