oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
