i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
