Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
