They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
