im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
