wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
