Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
