I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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