Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
