Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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