my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
