how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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