Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
