My balls are so social today.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
