i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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