You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just cropdusted the office
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
