I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
