as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
