you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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