Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
