I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
