Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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