they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My life is pants optional.
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