omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This is the high leading the old right now
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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