boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
