mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
