Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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