THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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