You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Actions speak louder than pants.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
