did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
