turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
