Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
