is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
