are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
