After last night, I could never be a politician.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
