so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i dont even know how to be here
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
