found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
