He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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