I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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