How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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