yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
