Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
