He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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