somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's always time for handjobs
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
