I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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