i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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