Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
