would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
