my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
