I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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