Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
