Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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