it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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