We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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