omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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